Thursday, May 17, 2007

The Hummingbird & Jerry Falwell

A new species of hummingbird was discovered in Columbia, and they've called it a Gorgeted Puffleg, after the "little cotton balls above their legs".
It looks awesome.
It is fitting that this brand-new species of bird should emerge on the very day that the cholesterol-encrusted, spite-filled heart of Jerry Falwell stopped beating, lest the newly-deceased would-be despot denounce said new bird as "gay" because of its purple-plumage, as he did, memorably, with Tinky Winky the Teletubby.

(Did anyone mention, during the Teletubby episode, that the oft-televised Falwell could, in fact, be considered a "tele-tubby" in his own right? Or is that uncouth?)

If there is, indeed, a singular god of some sort, and I am, unexpectedly, wrong, then I can understand his/her/their plan; why introduce a lovely new specimen of bird just to have some dimwitted, ill-minded zealot rip on it because he’s got a heart full of hate and a mind percolating with prejudice?
Let’s send down the purple hummingbird!
[looking down at earth, seeing Falwell grinning arrogantly at his throng]
...maybe we wait a bit on that?
"God":[looking over "Jesus’" shoulder; sucks in air through his teeth]
Oooh...good call, son.
[looks at watch]
At least we won’t have to wait TOO much longer...

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