Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Bloggerthong 1: Religiosity

*Blog-a-thon! I totally forgot, and am an unbelievable douchebag for doing so.

Shit shit shit!

All right, buckaroos, as far as I can tell (because I haven’t really read the rules NOR paid even one red cent as of yet), we’re blogging for
 breast-cancer...well, not for breast-cancer, I don’t think.

Moving on.

Here are the other chaps/chapettes blogging 
against breast-cancer, I’m assuming, and votes are appreciated for one and all:
Bella Patti - Nathan Erin - Jason - Michael
Now that we’re all caught up, on with the (hastily-written) show; the topic? Religion.

I wrote once that religion is a disease...and while I still believe this to be true, the question remains as to what kind of disease religion would be were one to take said question literally.

Is it like the mumps, or the measles? Is it like herpes, or, failing that, chicken-pox?

What about Tourette’s syndrome? Maybe religion is a disorder of some kind, a problem of some kind of bipolar, obsessive-compulsive, or attention-deficit origin...or perhaps it’s a self-inflicted "disease" like alcoholism.

Me? Well, I think I’ve got it figured out.

Religion, as a disease, is of a hemorrhoidal nature - a complete and utter pain in the ass.

Here are some extremely well thought-out comparisons:

Religion is uncomfortable, as are hemorrhoids;

Religion has a way of making you feel bad, both physically and psychically, and hemorrhoids do the same but from your ass;

Religion makes you spend innumerable hours reading, as does a painful poo, or a proctologist’s waiting room;

Religion is a way to distract and avoid more important issues, as is the case with hemorrhoids if brought up at a cocktail party;

Religion asks for faith because logic doesn’t work within a belief-structure, while faith in the human body’s ability to heal itself is all you have while the hemorrhoids eat away at your ass, ignoring the logic that tells you to buy reinforced underpants;

Religious people are creepy and weird.

Oh, and so are hemorrhoids.

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