Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Randumb 2: The Randumbening

Thumbtacks are a governmental conspiracy aimed at proving the theory of evolution once and for all;

There is a tribe of stuttering, narcoleptic peacocks that roam the vast deserts of Fotswalla-Walla, distinctive because of their neon, argyle-patterned plumage and bruised cheeks...and though by nature they are not particularly vampiric, they steadfastly continue their hunt for blood;

Plants are more than capable of flying, but an essential element of chlorophyll is lethargy;

"Bobbing Man-Lump (In Neck)" will wholly replace the term "Adam’s Apple" by 2025;

Sunsets only look lovely and red because the intense, incendiary rays of the sun push both blood towards the front of your eyes and endorphins to your genitalia;

In opposite-world, birds drive cars and rhinoceroses have really bad teeth;

The colloquial term "honey", as in, "honey, could you take down the garbage before I retch from the horrendous smell in the kitchen" is based on an old pagan ritual, wherein the sugar is distilled from a vat of pure honey and poured, boiling, over the clasped-hands of a newly married couple, attaching them at the palms for the better part of the following week; if it’s a full moon when their disfigured hands finally detach, then luck be with them...also the origin of "honeymoon";

The firing-off of synapses is vastly overrated.

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