Saturday, March 17, 2007

Dipshit Dad Down the Hall: A Conversation

[Knock knock; Dipshit Dad opens door]
Dipshit Dad:Yes?
Me:What's going on?
Dipshit Dad:
What do you mean?
Me:Every time I walk past your door, I hear either you and your wife-whatever screaming at each other, or some kids howling uncontrollably.
Dipshit Dad:Oh...Joshua accidentally elbowed Alex...
Is that why I heard you yelling, "you fucking asshole"?
[Dipshit Dad closes door behind him to chat with me in the hall]
Dipshit Dad:
What is your problem?
Me:I don't particularly enjoy listening to children shrieking and crying while you yell "fucking bitch" at your wife-whatever every time I go to get my laundry.
It doesn't create a pleasant atmosphere.
Dipshit Dad:Are you telling me how to raise my kids?
I wasn't, but you obviously don't know what you're fucking doing.
Dipshit Dad:
Fuck you.
Dude, you wear a button-up shirt tucked into fucking jogging pants when you walk him to school; do you evenknow what that must do to your kid's self-esteem?
Dipshit Dad:
Fuck off.
[slams door]
Me:Nice talking with you.

Another Conversation

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