Thursday, December 6, 2007


The word "clusterfuck" isn’t nearly strong enough to describe what happened with my soon-to-be-former employers today. Nor does the imagery of a monkey fucking a football, a frequently-used simile, convey the pure, unadulterated sense of spine-shivering chaos permeating this rancid job and the shit-fed morons who run it.
Idiotic? Nope - that would give the impression that some sort of thought was involved.
It was like watching diseased squirrels quarrel in shrieking-tones while slap-fighting, or a herd of giraffes slam into a bridge that wasn’t quite tall enough to get under, or maybe even a sadomasochistic otter biting at its own flesh with hurried, piercing snaps while other less courageous otters sat around masturbating in a circle-jerk of otter-voyeurism.
Despite the assurances that I would "no longer have egg on [my] face", my employers proceeded to fry up a bevy of omelets and drop them on me from a two-storey high-rise.
I’m not talking about one singular fuck-up here; I’m talking about an epic series of horrifically mismanaged events that have, just today, merged into a monolithic Fuck Mountain of Incompetence.
The fact that these people are supposedly functioning members of society, with families & houses & vehicles, does nothing to eclipse the theory that they all seem to be mentally-handicapped; their motor-skills look to be working properly, from what I’ve seen, but their brains seem to be getting by on some sort repetitive muscle-memory system that precludes logic and any smidgen of common sense from entering like trying to push a football into a closed fist. I’m not even angry as much as I am amazed that any one of these clods is capable of clothing themselves.
Today was a calamity of such unfathomable proportions that I want to throw an office-building off a cliff and piss fire on the rubble.

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